Dear family and friends,
Well … some of us are certainly experiencing the effects of Winter! How are you feeling really? I hope you are cozy at home with a blazing fire, a steaming hot chocolate or a cocktail and you are watching some good movies! We have experienced quite a lot of snow this January. The snow is so beautiful when it is falling and then covers the land like a white blanket but the after effect of snow blowing, slush, ice and repeat can get old. I thought about a story I once read many years ago titled ‘Diary of a Snow Shoveler‘. It’s hilarious and I can certainly relate! If you haven’t read it yet and need a good laugh, grab your hot chocolate and cookies, here it is! ‘Oh, don’t forget to read the ongoing story about George’
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER
December 8 – 6:00 PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry — we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again
I don’t think that’s possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s, our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that’s silly.
We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my behind on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like crazy.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove but won’t admit it to her.
I hate it when she’s right.
I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity’s back on but had another 14 inches of the white stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.
I think they’re lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they’re lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he’s lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the bathroom.
By the time I got undressed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think he is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she’s lying.
December 24
6 inches – Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I’ll make sure I give him a talking to.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been!
Tonight, the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25
Merry Christmas!
20 more inches of the white stuff tonight — Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation, I threw snowballs at him and chased him down the driveway.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to hide her wine.
December 26
Still snowed in.
Why did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The wife is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in.
I threw snowballs at the snow plough driver, causing him to swerve into my wall, and now he is suing me for a million dollars. I wonder how much my wall with cost to repair?
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what’s left of the house.
No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
MAKE YOUR OWN HOT CHOCOLATE BAR!
GEORGE Cont …
GEORGE Cont …
While I was searching, George would contact me for updates and had launched his own investigation, but he didn’t get very far. I totally understood because at that time DNA testing was still evolving and building a family tree and solving a DNA puzzle could be very daunting. I have learned to be patient and let the DNA lead the way. George is a great guy and finding his birth parents was so important to him, he was desperate to find the answers as to where he came from and to find any other family members. Typically, most of us know as to whom we are related to, this is because of our parents and grandparents and the information they share with us. Family history!
I researched George’s ‘possible’ father, (let’s name him William) and discovered that he was born in 1923, he had married in 1944 and from that marriage he had two daughters. One daughter was born in 1945 and the other daughter in 1946. They were both married and lived about two hundred miles from George. I found their addresses and phone numbers. William had remained married until his death in 1980, he was 57 years old. George was born in 1953, which suggests that William may have had an extra marital affair. There are many instances when this type of information comes to light and as you can imagine, it could progress to be a very delicate situation. That’s why I pass on the information I find and then step back, I can only interpret where the DNA and research lead me. As I first explained to George, I do this as a hobby to help others and of course nothing is absolute until a DNA match is made. Many adoptees who find their real birth parents have many emotions and, of course, questions. The most prominent one, fear of rejection. George experienced all this as well as excitement and nervousness. He asked me what I thought would be the best approach. I did suggest that writing a letter rather than a phone call could be a more subtle way to do it and would also give him a chance to express his feelings. I also suggested to George that he contact BIBA, ‘Birth Information Before Adoption’ in the UK. A copy of your original birth certificate is needed before you can petition for your adoption details. This is an Amended Birth Certificate. There may be information which could be helpful for your search. If you do not have any information regarding your adoption, here is the contact information:
Email: adoptions@gro.gov.uk
Adoptions Section
Room C202
General Register Office
Trafalgar Rd
Southport
PR8 2HH
GEORGE’S MOTHER
Once again, I began to follow the DNA matches that were leading to George’s maternal side. At that time, DNA results did not separate maternal and paternal parents. Now, with advances in DNA testing, this is possible and it has made researching so much faster and easier! I knew this was going to be a challenge but once I start, I can’t stop until I find the answers! I spent a lot of time reviewing and adding information, sometimes it led nowhere and the process of elimination can be a long one. I have learned to be patient and just keep going until something makes sense and connects. It can be frustrating at times but once you get the answer, it’s all worth it. Of course, I didn’t have a name or a forward direction to go in for George, but one last name would keep popping up, let’s name the family, ‘Smith’. I decided to follow this path, knowing that it could lead nowhere. There was only one similarity between ‘William’ and the Smith family, they lived in the same town and were not too far away from each other. Although I went through countless births, marriages and deaths, I could not find any connection between William and George.
Out of the blue, I received a message from George. He said he had contacted one of William’s daughters by writing a letter and he had provided his phone number. He waited anxiously for two weeks but had heard nothing. He began to feel like he was never going to get an answer. He certainly did not want to cause any problems within the family. The letter may have been quite a shock, and they just didn’t believe what he was suggesting. Maybe they didn’t live at that address anymore? He had been honest and open in the letter and written from the heart and had mentioned that they may be connected through their father. The feelings of rejection and disappointment had come to the fore again. George had spent a long weekend on vacation with his wife, and when he returned home there was a message on his answer machine. It was from one of William’s daughters. She said that the letter had taken some time to digest and she had spoken with her sister and they wanted to hold off responding until they had time to think about it. She asked if George would call her when it was convenient. Anticipation and excitement filled George’s thoughts, about what lay ahead. This could be it, he may find the answers he had longed for all his life. He chatted with his wife, and they decided how he should handle the upcoming call and how to approach it, carefully. He had to gather his thoughts and say the right thing without upsetting the daughters. His heart was beating so fast when he picked up the phone and dialed the number. A calm, quiet voice said ‘hello’. George explained in detail how they may be connected, through DNA testing and research. As we had agreed, he did not mention my name. After listening to what he had to say, she asked if she could call him back because she would prefer her sister to be present as she wanted to hear more details. George couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about how he would feel if the information I had given him was incorrect. Now that he was in contact, he wanted to be direct but didn’t want to overwhelm them. He expected them to have many questions. The next day, the sisters called at the appointed time but didn’t share much family information. I had provided George with access to the family tree I had built for him. He shared the link with the sisters and while on the phone, they were able access the link and look at the tree. They followed the family lines and were surprised at names in that tree, family members that were familiar to them. George explained how the DNA matches had led to the possibility that they shared the same father. The younger sister was very skeptical and thought it was a long shot. Could you imagine how you would feel in this situation? You are raised by a person who you think you know and this changes everything. At the end of the call, the older sister agreed to take a DNA test. The results could take up to 8 weeks. During that waiting period George called me again. I was surprised but I understood why, I knew his story and he felt comfortable speaking with me. Obviously, this had to be proven by the results of the DNA test. We talked about the ‘Smith’ family and if the name sounded familiar to him, but nothing came to mind. He had sent all the pertinent information to BIBA. If you were born before 1975, one had to request the help of an Adoption Advisor to obtain the certificate. He had started this process and was waiting for the Advisor to contact him.
A few weeks later George messaged me and was overjoyed that the DNA test results had come back, George was indeed a half sibling match to William’s daughter. He said they were going to meet, and he was very positive and excited. I was relieved and happy for George. The DNA had confirmed that I was correct in my research. But there was still the identity of George’s mother to find, and this wasn’t going to be easy having no information to go on. But I love the challenge.
To be continued …
